Well Marriage isn’t a joke.

It’s something we continuously committed to and we are hugely proud of. My husband and I have been married for 5 years; and yes, we mature gracefully by passing the border of formative years of a married couple. What love looks like after 5 years? I must say it’s an oasis in a world of hustling. I believe all healthy marriages experience shift and transition, it’s a process of growing together by having a strong faith.  This post explores how we raise each other in a relationship as a couple. I hope I can share some wisdom to you as I share our journey. First, let me tell you that this post is “husband approved”, shall we proceed then?

My husband and I grew up from the same town, honestly speaking no courtship happened since we knew each other’s background. What draws me to him is we shared the same values and beliefs.  In other word, love is our response to our highest values.  It’s like a yin and yang, both halves are chasing after each other as they seek a new balance together. However, our interests are exact opposite. Same with yin yang, wherein we are best described as night and day.

Men aren’t good in multi-tasking; they are typically absorbed in whatever task is at hand. I recall the times when he can’t reply from a text message right away because he was at work. Women on the other hand, are much more fluid can shift gears more seamlessly. After years of marriage, I now understand that men communicate differently than women do. Back then, my vision of a married life was so cheesy, and I admit I expect him to reciprocate my action. Men aren’t usually a good communicator, as a wife I tend to be irrational in response.

When were young and in love, a little thing like snoring isn’t top of our list to discuss. For a long time, I’ve been losing sleep because of my husband’s high-pitched wheezing. The heavy snoring started as soon as his head hit the pillow. Within seconds, it will be a full blast of sound pressure reaching the max decibels. Earlier on our marriage, it literally made me rage. I know he is not deliberately making noise, as he is oblivious to the happenings. Of course, I do love him, and I must say we put up a lot of each other unbearable behaviours and habits. Little do I know; I am forming sound waves as well. It’s silly! Now it’s even LOL. I adjust my attitude and try not to see the sound as disturbing as possible. Instead, I think of it as the sound of someone I love breathing. My workaround, I’m constantly rolling him over because he snores when he sleeps on his back. Ear plugs has been my BFF it completely blocks out noise.

My husband is my greatest fan my toughest adversary and my critique. He’s been brutally honest to me which I appreciate and weeps afterwards. There’s a blissful feeling that comes when he knows my foibles but loves me unconditionally. I practice emotional intelligence rather than to react. We create a positive feedback cycle regularly.

I encourage you to know the 5 love languages to better understand and describe the way we feel loved and appreciated. Determining on our individual characteristics, we may feel loved differently on how our partners do. Decoding these different ways of showing love will help take the guessing game or running circles out of your partner’s expectations and needs.

Given the chance to redo my Vow, I would like to add this phrase:

“I Promise patience, kindness and light-heartedness, attentiveness and self-improvement. Celebrate your success and love you more for your misadventure”

happy 5^th year anniversary!!

Photo by Andre Furtado from Pexels

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Solace by Rhea

Duchess of Sunshine, Ambassador of Positive Vibes & Chief Idea Officer

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