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Raise your hands if your guilty about this? I myself is ashamed of dealing with this kind of troubles during my younger years. I don’t know why’ but I tend to be missing out a lot of things which I believe was intentional on my end, LOL. Some happens habitually when people accidentally or alternatively did it on purpose. As often, they only grasp fragments of what the other is communicating and they react to that. Then response is way too far from what has been communicated with them. And this causes back-and-forth issue where there is disconnection in between. Sound’s crazy huh?

Have you ever witness some bizarre conversation, and how it ended weird? Like it’s only one-way traffic and the message didn’t came across? It’s like the conversation starts in north pole but the other person aggressively assumes it’s north Korea!

I have a friend who hilariously admits suffering from partial-listening method. This happens most especially at work, when focus is not so sharp and only picks up on keywords and redo a conversation from there! Well I admire people who acknowledge their own flaws. Usually they have the best intentions but they think way too fast – concluding they understands the whole talk.

Sadly, there were some occasions in which selective hearing is so blindingly obvious and yet some people who suffers from it tend to be ignorant. Because when you are partially listening you also only pick up the part of emotions attached.

Ok, by the way I see it – It’s pretty common nowadays. Maybe it’s due to Millennial’s stress, Social Media and lifestyle. Or maybe we entertained too much of an endless loop of not-pleasant encounters (sounds familiar?) here’s the sample? I myself was a victim of it and just shrug it off.

I was in the grocery paying in the counter when the cashier told me that “This Kimchi is expensive” my reply: I don’t mind, just include it on my bill. The next thing I knew was, she cancelled the Kimchi off my cart. I ask her why? I was told that she just did what I want her to do, and I figured out the “I don’t” word that I said, assuming I don’t want the Item anymore. Good thing I was on a good mood I just let it pass. But this is bad! You know why, because I wasn’t able to correct the misunderstanding. I entertained the endless loop of not-pleasant encounters!

So how do you get out of this negative loop and lend a hand for other to get out too?

• Opposite sex tends to deal with negative emotions differently, which happens most of the time. I myself saying the exact words and yet receivers point of view feels otherwise. Everyone reacts first to negative message which most of us mirror with bad mood. That’s the reason why we miss the whole point of the story.
• Allow people to finish their thoughts! It’s ok to ask someone to repeat things. I don’t feel ashamed asking questions anyway, it’s better to receive the message clearly than to feel sorry after.
• Moved away with perceived negativity! Don’t assume right away.
• No Judgement. We always picture what will happen during the conversation thus we always end up preparing for re-buts.
• Chill & Relax! Conversation is not always a debate. lol

As I’ve said, I’m also guilty of my actions. Nobody is perfect. At least it’s not too late to get away with this bad vibe called selective hearing.

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
― Stephen R. Covey

Photo by Andrea Piacquadio from Pexels

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Solace by Rhea

Duchess of Sunshine, Ambassador of Positive Vibes & Chief Idea Officer

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