Everyone always hear about love at first sight but disliking someone the first time you meet them is also quite familiar. Someone ask me a few years ago if I believe this, I just laugh the idea and made a shrug. Back then, the Lady who happen to ask me this question was waiting patiently on my answer. I knew the person who she was referring, I believe that she just wants to validate her gut feeling, checking if I’ll take side.

Real Talk

What can you do about it? Or perhaps “WHY” we dislike people at first sight? If we’re about to dissect it, for sure everyone agrees this happen most likely on first impression wherein it can be positive or somehow negative. Certainly, I must say there is a possibility that you instantly dislike a person you just met. And the weirdest part is there is no rational explanation behind it. It can be your intuition or your third sense or whatever you called it. This proves that were just being alert at most times. However, intuition is no guarantee. Judgement is normal but making assumptions sometimes isn’t logical. It will only cause harm if someone hasn’t done anything at all.

“I don’t believe in Dislike at first sight, but I do believe in seeing someone from across the room and knowing instantly that they’re going to matter to you. – Unknown

Going back, Let’s see if’ I’ll be able to come up or cover what lies behind” Dislike at first sight” Funny but true! It happens…

• A threat! A newbie in the department somehow shows a great ability to lead the team and have an oozing personality who wins the heart of everyone. A great communicator who’s opinionated and overshadows the rest of the group. I believe all of us has insecurities and perhaps hate the idea of someone stepping in, so sudden that bears all the characteristics that we wish to bear. Social skill for others comes naturally but for some it is a big leap to improve on. We don’t want to be put on a situation wherein we are being left out. Don’t worry it’s a natural thing, however torment will only occur if you will recruit and create a troop. Create a positive environment and treat it as a healthy competition.
• Expectations. Body language, for example If your brain already hurts using all your might and someone just doesn’t seem to care. First meeting turns up to a disaster, remember a frowning face can be a resting face for some and a language barrier can be a false superiority to other. That arrogance tends to provoke dislike in others. I feel sorry for them who are clueless that someone is already building an assumption towards them.
• Not Animated. Well not everyone is born a superstar, if this person happens to be in fast pace workplace, then that puts them at a significant disadvantage in a culture that values extroversion. Lack of social skills may put someone on bad impression. Or worst others might think this person is not a good fit. Some interpret this kind of behavior as reserved or just simply rude. Well not everybody can create an instant magic, for me it’s a skill that I need to improve on as well.
• A big Talker. Have you encountered someone who puts to much effort trying to build or project a certain image? Living a lie that contradicts to their values? Let’s say a life coach who we assume, lives the positive mantra and yet it’s funny true colours somehow shows. Or an acquaintance who claims; who used to present a powerful PPT to CEO and yet can’t create as simple presentation? Some of them for sure is subconsciously aware of the act they are putting on, and that awareness can trigger negative feedback. This only happens if the persona they are projecting is too obvious not to be noticed. I think it is safe to play low key at most times. I believe building the gap can be exaggerated for others. Someone just told me that “Everyone has good intentions” and I answered back replying a silly quote saying, “Do you believe that some people are just shameless?” and we both laugh! But kidding aside, do we really care? It depends on how committed you are on your opinion. I’ve read somewhere that if these simple things annoy you, then you feel you are self-entitled.
• Feeling Nostalgic. This happens when they remind you of someone else. It can be the gesture or accent that triggers the memory. Perhaps how they present themselves or style creates an uncomfortable feeling for you. It possibly means that you haven’t gotten over or moved on from what happened in the past.
• Your Moods. It’s the time, when your feeling under the weather and judge someone who couldn’t fit your benchmark.

I believe in second chances, same thing that GOD continuously giving us the same support. I know first meeting can be deceiving and misleading. I’m also a human who committed the same crime sometimes. No one deserves to be hated after just one look, just saying. I know rejection can be demotivating as I’ve been there many times. If we can only open our doors again and give an opportunity to know people more instead of superficial interaction.

Some people believe that opinion of others doesn’t hurt. However, if we will look closely, maybe we can consider these feedback and improve our ourselves more. Anyway, it’s a two-way traffic’ we’ll never know what others think of us in return. Maturity comes, when a “Student is ready the teacher will appear”! it means stripping our self with ego and ready to accept realization.

ego meter check

Did I miss some points? Let me know and share your thoughts below.

Photo by Cori Rodriguez from Pexels

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Solace by Rhea

Duchess of Sunshine, Ambassador of Positive Vibes & Chief Idea Officer

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